Saturday, April 01, 2006

Rule 17




Judge a Book by it's Cover

I have not stepped foot in any of these Florentine hotels. They might all be swell. These are my own highly scientific empirical observations based on walking by them or looking at their names in the Yellow Pages:

The River Hotel: It is not very close to the River.

The Pitti Palace Hotel: Fewer and smaller rooms than the namesake. Also less art on walls.

The Golf Hotel: The closest golf course is Luigi’s mini-golf in Prato.

Hotel Michelangelo: Michelangelo designed some of the greatest bits of architecture in the city. Critics laud his staircase to the Medici Library with its bizarre half staircase that leads magnificently into the rest of the staircase. Needless to say he did not have a hand in the design of the Hotel Michelangelo.

Mona Lisa Hotel: There may be a reproduction of Leonardo’s painting in the lobby.

Hotel Souvenir: It’s a hotel and a t-shirt!

Canada Hotel, Arizona Hotel, and the Boston Hotel: Good choices if you are out late drinking and the only thing you can remember is where you were born.

The Real Hotel: It is.

The Jolly Hotel: It is not.

The Grand Majestic Hotel: It is neither.

Hotel Tina: Only people named Tina are allowed to register.

Dante Hotel: Seven rings of rooms each hotter than the last.

Real Hotel: Hope so. They paid good euros to be listed in the phone book.

Rex Hotel: Only for guys and their moms.

Hotel Airport: Owners couldn’t make up their minds. Is this a hotel or an airport?

California Hotel: Such a lonely place, such lonely place.

Residenza dei Pucci: Dogs welcomed.

5 comments:

Paul Karasik said...

Of course, I can see very clearly that the theme of my blog, an American family in Florence, Italy, reminds you so much of Grand Canyone tours. We have so much in common! Do you like the color green? Wow! Me too,I think that there is nothing prettier than a red, red rose! I bet you're a vegetarian, too! Let's get together real soon over a nice juicy grilled steak!

your soul-mate,
-Paul

ausonia said...

hey, paul! come to visit my new Ausonia-blog-Hotel... there are dark unhealthy worms, bad mood, rotten puppets... come on!
I'm waiting for you... :)

ciampi

Paul Karasik said...

Ciampi,

I can get most of those things without leaving home...but wait, did you say rotten puppets?

How do I make a reservation?

Smartypants said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Smartypants said...

Hey Paul!

If you haven't seen it already check out the Bill Buford article on Tuscan pig butchery in this week's New Yorker. I think you'll get a kick out of it. (NO, it's not a promotion for Grand Canyon Tours.)

It's available on the NYer Web site at:
http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/060501fa_fact

Joel